Stair Lips...they really present quite a problem

Could someone please explain to me the reason for the little (even the big) lips that are on nearly every set of stairs in this wonderful world? I mean, it's like every carpenter ever bred is just asking to watch people trip UP the stairs and make a huge fool out of themselves. Come on. I mean, I have enough issues without the whole vertical displacement dilemma...add the stairs, and the lips, and we have a large problemo. This came up the other day at lunch. I was wearing my super stylish Crocs and first the toe (that's made out of that irritating sticky rubbery business) kind of dragged a little bit flinging me headfirst towards a very unforgiving concrete blocked wall. Then we scaled the stairs and I nearly tumbled up those too...complaining all the way about stair lips of course! 

I mean...not like this was an unusual occurrence. I typically trip UP the stairs at least...mmm...four times a week I'd say? Hard to keep track...eek.

Yes. They are in fact plowing the parking garage across the street at the crack of three a.m. Yes I am in fact awake typing on Blogger.com instead of floating around in dreamland. It's just not happening...and the snow is really quite a sight. Come on snow day....that would improve my case of the Mondays about tenfold. Mhmm. That much. Clearly not for U of M because, well, that just doesn't happen around here, but AAPS...I'd appreciate that one...it's the last day of swim practice tomorrow (what a shame...).

Thurthdayth are jutht tho great!

In case you were wondering...I'm officially nineteen point five years old...well actually...give it an hour or so and THEN it'll be official. Patience is a virtue!

So we started off the day with an unhealthy dose of art history. Why so unhealthy you inquire? Well. This is the class with Annoying Voice Girl. And there were only eight of us there on this fine morning, meaning AVG talks a lot (not like that's anything new, but typically there are a few other eager beaver loudmouths anxious to get their input out on the table). Now this voice...it's a little bit of morning voice, mixed with about a cup and a half of nasal, a pinch of frog creaking, topped with the fact that she's a sorostitute. Tri Delt to be exact. Deltadeltadelta! Ugh.

Psychology...oooh the joys of a two hour lecture...actually it flies by cuz the professor is rather entertaining slash it's an interesting topic by itself! Anyways. Naturally my second protector didn't show up today...so to my right sat an empty seat, making me extremely vulnerable to some rando who maybe thought I looked kind of friendly and thought it was safe to sit there, to fill that seat. Of course the Geico Caveman sat down next to me ten minutes into class and offered up the great question of "What are we doing?" Don't worry, I didn't respond with "It's so easy a Caveman can do it..." instead, I just didn't. Yeah, I'm sorry. But if you're going to waltz in there ten minutes late, perhaps use your brain and look up at the giant blaring powerpoint presentation that's about eighty times your size and figure it out. I don't know, just a suggestion. I probably should have cut him a little slack, considering he literally looked like a caveman (a little less hairy)...buuut no. My name isn't Andrea for nothing! Hahaha

Picked up a gimongous piece of paper and some different colored inks at the art store this afternoon for my final project! Pretty freaking exciting. There was some creepy dude in there though...first he said I was pretty, rather loudly to his little friend, and then proceeded to follow me around the store and ask questions about every move I made. Oddball? Yup. He had lots of piercings and a very short buzz cut, a pretty sweet flannel shirt with black skinny jeans, just one of those generally shady looking people if you know what I mean. Anyways...after he peaced the two women working upstairs made some comments on how weird he was and the last time he was in there. Apparently he just touches everything and picks everything up only to put it back down again a minute later...hmmm...at least it confirmed my oddball suspicion.

Time to work on my glorious to-do list. The excitement never ends, folks!

Happy Birthday to the April Fool!

In case you weren't aware...it's the Maj's b-day today...soooo...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAJ! Hopefully that was grand...I know she got good dinner. I also know I wasn't invited. Hahaha it's fine. I did help pick out the cake (proud moment) and I did ring in several times. The woman is just so busy she can never seem to actually pick up the phone (new age concept, sometimes hard to catch on...it's fine)! 

Anyways. Art, once again, three hours of nudity. Well. More like two point five. Louise was a wee bit late...which was fine by me! Although she was such a cute little old lady and quite funny, with a very cool purse (Target Boutique...don't worry, I asked). It had cool little circle dangly things coming off of it. I was intrigued. AND she had teal high heels! How much better can ya get?!

Tonight was nowhere near the disaster of Monday night. I did manage to leave with a paper cut in my knuckle crevice, ink smeared along my jawline, and graphite all up in my fingernails...but other than that, GREAT success. Well. Okay. No. I had another elevator issue in Markley on return to my glorious walk-in closet of a room. Everything was fine, just me and myself traveling up to the sixth floor, the doors open and I start walking out...buuuut I don't make any forward progress...and the doors start to close...and I realize that the elastic thingamabob on my (WOAH THINGAMABOB IS A WORD AND IT DOESN'T HAVE THE ANNOYING RED UNDERLINE LIKE YOU MADE A MISTAKE!) backpack is attached to the railing that goes around the perimeter of the elevator. GOODNESS GRACIOUS. Unhooked and continued.

Had an issue getting into my room, but what else is new? There are several things that could happen upon reaching my door:

1. Successful entry of card and code...rare.

2. Drop the card on the floor before it even gets a chance to see the door. Pretty frequent.

3. Miss the slot on the door and card falls on the floor. Also pretty frequent. (Keep in mind  that any number of these can happen in one entrance attempt)

4. Success with the card, but failure to punch in the numbers...which means you have to re-swipe the card, which means 2 and 3 are likely to happen.

5. Attempt to open the door without the use of card or code. AKA I'm an IDIOT. Not that often...usually when I come back from being home for a bit...

6. Success with card and code, but door hits something that is blocking the swing path and it bounces back and hits me.

Talk about skills. 

ALSO, it happens to be my (and Brian's...shmeh) half birthday tomorrow. Yes I know, milestone. Don't worry I have a huge day planned complete with whatever is for dessert in the cafeteria. 

Out of CONTROL...in art class

Okay so I'm not a COMPLETE failure at drawing the human body...clearly I avoid, but hey...we only had ten minutes. There's only so much I can do! Hahahaha oh man. So that...is about the extent of my so called "skill." We all know I'm not exactly a "people person" anyway! Ahhh haha I crack myself up. 

Anyways. Art was a complete disaster tonight. It all started when...I scarfed down a solid chicken parm dinner, flew up to my room to finish filling out my formal complaint form for this whole creeper business, and then left for art. Got all the way down to the first floor to run to catch the bus when I said to myself, 'Oh hey, you're kind of forgetting something important.' No big deal, it was only my portfolio with everything I needed...so I got back in the elevator all the while talking to my idiot self (and causing some dude to question my sanity) and returned to the sixth floor. Got my portfolio and ran down the stairs this time and sprinted to the bus stop. COOL.

Walked into art and discovered, holy crap! It's a male model who is our age...weird a little bit that he's going to be living with someone in the class...but it's fine! Made the class go by a little faster considering that I wasn't worried that I could be this dude's daughter. Yikes. Onward...so we were using Sumi ink tonight, and well, I made a mess. First it started bubbling out of the container, so the bubbles popped and sprayed some seriously black ink all up on my favorite t-shirt. Irritating. 

Now, of course I decided to wear my Crocs without socks because it gets so blasting hot in there, but no. Now my feet just went sweat crazy (yeah, unnecessary but totally necessary detail) and they were squeaking and I was giggling. Oooh terrible. The prof kept saying things that I just found to be hilarious (and no one else...OF COURSE) so I was cracking up and people were just looking at me like I was psycho slash halfway laughing at me. Unreal. I mean she would say things like "The wrong line is RIGHT!" How do you not laugh at that? It sounds like complete lunacy. Apparently it's all about the confidence in the line. Who knew? The things I'm learning in college...mmm yes. 

So to follow up this lovely business, my Sumi brush broke in the middle of painting with it...the entire head of bristles literally just plopped out of the handle. Ummm cool? No, not really. So there was ink all over my pants and I shoved the bristles back in the handle so there was ink all over the floor and my hands...eek. Don't worry, they fell out again and landed in my lap. Yaaay. Hahaha. 

Now clean up. Clean up was fun. It was more like mess up for me. I ended up half throwing half spraying my cup of ink mixed with water all over the stool, floor, and myself. Couldn't clean out my brush because DUH it was broken, couldn't clean the bamboo stick I borrowed from some guy in the class, and then missed the bus I normally take because I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. 

But of course, I got downstairs and was on my way outside when I realized I had left my phone on the windowsill. So perfect. Haha ran up and grabbed it and that was the end of that. Sheesh.

Goodnight.

So There IS a Light At the End After All...

Well, I can finally see the light at the end of freshman year! Thank heavens...

At least we've covered a rather broad set of issues right? Right. All the better in the long run! Haha.

We started the year off with my best friend Jenny...well, at least that's what we code named her in order to chat about various crazy stories from across the hall including her favorite GFS Shrimp Wonton Soup (just add water!), kicking my cookies on the floor, crawling on windowsills in the middle of the night Spidey style to close the window, banging on the door from the inside of the room due to noise level, not even making a dent in the toothpaste tube...nor the shampoo and conditoner...phone calls home to mom yelling and crying in Chinenglish, and the list goes on. Naturally, whenever we happen to pass by in the hall she finds something very interesting on the floor that fully captures her attention. Oooh man.

That was followed up by a certain fellow engaging in a game of human Frogger, a trip to Albion triggering an extremely disturbing notebook, and a rather large fiasco involving quite a few people. Drama rama? Yes indeed. Never fails!

Surgery on the ankle was up next. Oooh the ever-present injury. Five months later and I'm pretty sure we don't exactly have amazing progress...it's okay. Seven more months until we really declare it a fail. The real question is, will I ever be allowed to play sports again? I'm getting a little stir crazy couch potato-ing with a semi-legit excuse not to exercise. Eek! Slash...I have actually forgotten how great it feels to work out. Slash PLAY and COMPETE and be part of a TEAM. Slight void. 

Anyhoo...after countless fun rides in the Paratransit van, I graduated back into walking mode (HUGE step people, huge)! Finished up first semester and was optimistic for a better second semester equipped with a new roomie and a brand new set of classes! 

Then along came Creepy Caller...or crazy psycho ex. It's really up to you, both work in my mind!

January and February included a marathon of bad news. Funerals and cancer diganoses aplenty made for a highly enjoyable winter.

The flu paid a visit at the beginning of March and also caused a temporary breather from consuming Qdoba since it was the last meal I ate before I felt terrible! I hate how that happens...the downfall of something delicious just for tossing the cookies...yargh.

The rest of March I have deemed as Police Month. Lot's of time on the phone with AT&T, various police officers, and other important people led us to none other than the dorm room phone of the ex-boyf. This news was of course both surprising and not at that same time. Surprising that I had talked to him three separate times and told him a) I was legitimately upset by it and b) the police were involved, but no...it didn't stop! Whewww story of my life. So now, I don't really sleep very well and I'm sick (woot!) annnd I have more things to add to my to-do list. Unreal. 

Less. Than. One. Month.

One Fine Saturday

Reporting from the home unit.

Yesterday was quite grand. Started off the day right with some Coney Island...delicious Farmer's Skillet. Mmm mmm! Followed up by a few hours of that thing we call class, MAC AND CHEESE DAY in the caf, and then off to the Campus Police Station! Yaaaay. That was wonderful. Naturally I plopped on over to Target after that joyous funtivity to pick up various necessities and the Maj's b-day present. Excitement! Followed up by a trip to Kroger to buy the materials necessary for my next Comm paper...Maxim and Cosmo. COOL. That's not embarrassing at all...picking up some men's magazine with a pretty much naked woman on the cover. Sweeeet nuggets.

That greatness was followed up by Outback Steakhouse with Grandma, Sarah, and Katie...and then me getting my butt whooped in some Skip-Bo-esque card game of sorts. I didn't win a single game. Grandma cleaned my clock. I don't even know if that's the correct phrase, but I've pretty much always thought that's what it was so...it's fine. Haha.

Then it was onward to a birthday party! Woohoo! Found a top notch parking spot to start off the evening right, followed up by a bunch of people I don't know, but met, and Scary Mary taking over. Just a wee bit over the top and without any social radar...really fun to be a spectator for that one!

Naturally I slept at the WG casa after delivering my BFF Jill's (slash SarahnotJill's) forgotten cell phone from ze b-day shindig (thank you Chauffeur Brian for taxi-ing me about town!)...that was kind of stolen by Scary Mary...hard to say. Hard. To. Say.

Anyhoo. Sarahnaha is back on her way to Coloradoland...actually she's probably already back by now! Five more weeks till the reunion. WOOT.

Creepy McCreeperson Revealed!

So...remember how back in January there was some whacko calling me in the middle of the night? Yeah...it continued a few more times through the month of February and even into merry March! Yaaaay. Anyways...I finally got myself an actual U of M police officer...he's pretty great...and they tracked down my caller.

None other than the dorm phone of my wonderful ex (after 7 years of on and off dating...wow...apparently I really picked a winner!). So of course now we've got meetings with police officers, hall directors, parents, etc., etc. Ridiculosityyyy. 

In other news...the naked people infiltrated my art class. It's really awesome. Minus the fact that I act like I'm turning twelve next week and I can't draw human beings. Oops. It's okay. Surprisingly enough I've kept myself together...until I open the door to my room and lose it. I mean, I have to let it out somewhere...really, I do. Anyways...needless to say I was a wee bit shocked by the poses these 55-60 year old men were striking. That and the really cool miniskirt made of towel that really was more like a loincloth with a strip of velcro for fastening purposes. Let's just talk about how the first image I have of drawing the figure, is walking in that room and witnessing this man stretching, on his back, on the floor, in the indian position, pulling his legs to his chest...if that makes any sense at all. It was a rather glorious welcome. Not.

Night two...we had some dude who brought his own personal space heaters. It's already near eighty degrees in the room due to the heaters (which I am convinced are broken because they just constantly churn out the heat) and then he sets up stools with more heat churning machines! Oy vey. Along with those he brought couch cushions and a really cool (except really NOT cool) jumpsuit equipped with at least ten zippers. Various openings and pockets. Who knows...I don't ask questions.

Anyways...a lot has happened in those months between the last post...but I am lazy. Straight up fact of life that I have fully accepted. Slash Poppa Joel requested a blog because apparently someone is interested in my life (weird, I know) and I realized that I had started one with zero intention of anyone ever really seeing it! Wahoo blogging world! The journal of 2009...crazy daisies.