I Would Love to Eat Everything in Sight Right Now

Panera sounds so deliciously good right now I don't even know what to do with myself. And the fact that I have to walk right by it upon the hour of 1:00 on my jaunt home is really just not ideal in the least. Exhibit A: I just drooled merely from typing about it. This is a problem. It also doesn't help that I am bombarded with Panera Propaganda in my e-mail on a weekly basis ever since I joined the MyPanera Club to get free stuff.

Also, my fair Qdoba Card is still M.I.A. I have no idea where it decided to go, but it wasn't very nice that it was misplaced when I was ONE entree away from the free one. Granted, I've secured a new one in the time the original has been missing, but it's just not the same. Sigh.

Everything sounds good right now. For eating purposes at least. Good thing I have some Carlyle leftovers in the fridge, but they're not really at the top of my preferred list. I suppose that just COMPLETELY contradicted the whole 'everything sounds good right now' statement. But really, I'll just be happy once I can sit and eat. And eat and eat and eat. Alll the livelong day. Or just for a quality sixty minutes.

In other realms of life, I've not observed anymore bare bottomed views out of any windows. I've had one strange conversation from the driver's seat of the Loser Cruiser with a man sitting at The Four Leaf Clover Restaurant at the corner of Liberty and Fourth. It's a shame I can't quite dredge up the memory of what exactly went down...but believe me, it was strange.

Just received a UM Alert Text about an armed robbery at a bank. So I'm going to go ahead and avoid that area for the day. What is happening to Ann Arbor?!

OH AND OH MY GOSH HOW COULD I FORGET. Brojah finally popped the question...and I'm finally going to have a sister that kinda looks like me! She's short and has brown hair, so I'm pleased. I'm actually quite impressed that we're able to find someone that wants to join this family...we're borderline insane on a daily basis...and extremely loud at all times. I feel as if it is sensory overload on occasion in dealing with the Gregorka Zoo...

A Scarring Study Experience

It has been an excessively long time since I've written anything pertaining to my life on here. But, something worth noting came up and I can't help but share it with the two people that still read this.

The Scene:

It's Sunday night, RKM and I head to the Union at the crack of 11:15 p.m. in hopes of accomplishing some sort of productivity instead of sitting around procrastinating like professionals. We set up camp at a table near the windows, but not too far from the food court. I head out to drop important documents at the APO office and then take a pit stop at Subway on the way back to purchase a sub in order to eat my feelings.

As we delve into the world of studiousness, the whole paying attention to what's going on around us falls to the wayside. But then, RKM looks up around 12:50 a.m. and notices that there is someone upchucking in the flower bushes outside the window. It takes me a second to adjust my vision from the reflection of Mrs. Fields in the window to see the master cookie tosser about three feet away. Naturally, laughter ensued.

It gets worse. Before we know it, Idiot #2 is unbuttoning his pants. Dear lord, what is about to happen. Well, what does happen is that he drops trow, SPREADS his cheeks, and smashes his rear end against the window...with a bit of smearing action. In the meantime, #1 is still barfing a bit and Idiot #3 is working on not drawing any further attention by banging on the window and creating a complete and total ruckus. Naturally, all of them are yelling as well because why not?

After that, we surrendered. There was not an ounce of studying that was going to happen after having that horrific image burned into our brains. Herman and Chomskey's propaganda model was going to have to wait until Monday...

A Series of Unfortunate Events

It has been an interesting 24 hours. I'm gonna go ahead and blame these events on my slight mixture of a cold and allergies and other such things that didn't exactly lead me to feel 110% yesterday...andddd this morning. It all started with the Saga of the Lost Cell Phone. I headed over to the Virginian's with the Maj's car, and while lazing about I realized that Sir Twinicus was supposed to be calling, texting, sending a smoke signal, really just communicating in any way, buuut it wasn't quite happening. So after a thorough search of my large purse that tends to cause things to disappear, I failed to locate the little silver device and hence decided to search the Maj's vehicle. The search returned absolutely nothing...naturally. So after the lovely mini search party, it was determined that it had to be back at the Chat.

Upon my return home we began searching...Round Two. The Virginian called over and over while I ran about the various parts of the house that I had been in earlier that day. While standing in the kitchen (all surface areas devoid of any items resembling a phone) I heard the familiar buzz. I shifted towards my lovely little cabinet only to realize that it was inside the cabinet. After removing several items, I noticed that one item was actually buzzing itself. Naturally, my little cell phone had taken up residence in the Wheat Thins box. Score one for the home team...

Waking up this morning I managed to put my underwear on inside out and put my tank top on backwards before making it into the office. Now, the undies situation was realized before exiting the house, and was remedied, but the tank top situation not so much. As I was sitting in my cubicle of glory (where the name tag is still incorrect) typing away and editing United Way stories, I looked down and noticed that the purple fabric was pulling funny. Huh, I thought to myself. I really didn't notice that when I bought this thing. Perhaps the lighting was off in Old Navy...or maybe I just failed to recognize the minute detail. Anyways, I flipped it over and lo and behold, the tagless tag was blaring in my face.

To top things off, I decided to broadcast my idiocy to the World of Facebook and five minutes later my boss walked in and laughed at my backwards tank top and asked how in the world my phone could have possibly ended up in a Wheat Thins box. Awesome. Let's also keep in mind that on Monday I was forced to wear white athletic socks with orange and yellow polka dots in my dress shoes because I couldn't find my black ones and was running late...annnd my boss and another woman in the office both flooded my cubicle and commented on that. Bahaha Joke Show USA.

I'll be here all week, folks.

Ann Arbor, so hot right now. Ann Arbor.

It is unbelievably hot in Ann Arbor. I can't handle this for much longer, especially sans air conditioning. The Chat reached the temperature of 91 degrees on the DOWNSTAIRS thermostat, which we all know hints at the upstairs unit being a whole new definition of indoor inferno and needless to say, as a resident I am melting. Not Wicked Witch of the West melt style, more of a slow deterioration of mental saneness, accompanied by exhaustion, a lot of sweat, and a lot of H20 intake in an attempt to maintain a level of togetherness. Togetherness...whatever that means!

In all the heat and official Weather.com Heat Advisories I might add, I have not attempted much for the sake of my health and probably the health of those around me that would potentially have to deal with my sweaty meltdown.

• Thank goodness it's Dead Week for Skyline Volleyball, because we aren't currently in the air conditioned gym, and although it is significantly cooler than Pioneer would be on ANY given day, I have become spoiled and accustomed to the high class facilities that Sky High has to offer and therefore would not have wanted to attend either open gyms or the Rec & Ed game...
• Considering I only have to work a grand total of two days this week, I suppose that's a pretty good thing as well. The only downside is that my workplaces are air conditioned, and so I wouldn't mind nearly as much going into work when it is imitating Death Valley outside (as well as inside the Chat).
• Tuesday was a day spent at the original Home Unit with the Maj...in the A/C. Crafting and reading all the livelong day. AKA attempting not to expel any unnecessary energy less it create an increase in body temperature. I wasn't allowed to go to work because it was finally Moving Day! Our office moved to the corner of Liberty and Fifth which is just really great news...minus the fact that I will be the one in charge of unpacking and organizing every thing that I have spent the last three weeks packing.
• Going backwards, Monday was an evening in which the fam attempted to golf. Poor life decision if I do say so myself. Considering I suck at this leisurely activity, I wasn't exactly pleased to be going out when it was still above ninety degrees at the crack of 6pm. Sucked even worse, and had a serious case of swamp ass. The upside to this situation was that the course was legitimately empty of another soul, so I was able to drop trow and air out for a minute at some hole number that I could pretend to know, but actually have no clue what it really is. Feel free to judge, I clearly don't have Golf Etiquette down to a tee quite yet.
• Today was spent trying not to move in the hot hot heat the Chateau had to offer. Spent a large portion of the day being artsy fartsy for the first time in a long time, watched quite a bit of television, and perfected fan angles so they provided the most effective (but really freaking hot) breeze!

Basically, I'm really excited to work from 9-5 tomorrow because I will be submersed in the A/C of a real office building. I wonder if I'll have to pack a couple of layers just in case I have become accustomed to this extreme warmth the lovely atmosphere has decided to provide to my beloved Mitten State.

Time Wasting Ace

I have really gone above and beyond when it comes to wasting time here at the University desk job. I'm pretty certain procrastination is hailed here, it's definitely suggested and encouraged! Anyways...I have a few things to do today, but I have just really learned to pace myself and therefore every time I take a trip from the supply closet down to the work room, I detour to my office and check my e-mail, Facebook, my phone, or any other technological thing that may have updated. At least time is flying by today! Heck, there's only an hour and twenty minutes until we all load into cars and head over to the new office space to check it out. I'm so pleased that we're moving to Liberty instead of up to Northwood. Holy muffins that would have been rough indeed. The fact that we have to move still blows, just a little less due to the close proximity to the Chateau. :) Well...the previous two paragraphs were created on Tuesday...and it is now Thursday and we are back in the exact same position. Although, I did get to make a trip to FedEx Office this morning (yeah, it's no longer Kinko's...weird) to get the Ciao Dining inserts trimmed. That's the most excitement I've experienced here in a very long time! The only downside (which was major) is that it took a solid fifteen minutes to find a new parking spot when I returned. Little Oswego Street was all full, sad day. Especially after my ace of a parallel park job this morning. I guess practice really does help the scales lean towards perfection! This evening I must shuttle the Virginian to the airport again. He's vacating the Deuce to celebrate the Bro's high school gradumatation slash visit the fam and the great state of Virginia. I really am quite a fan! Of it all! Last night was a girl's night...The Last Song is currently playing at the Dollar Theater, so naturally we had to attend. SWG and I could not stop crying. JChro and KNood held themselves together quite gracefully, I was impressed. But hello depression city! Holy wow. Also, it's really a shame that Miley Cyrus had to be the main character in it, because I personally think she ruined it. With the snaggletooth and the twelve-year-old face...plus the whacky faces she seems to not have control over...and the whole being Hannah Montana thing just made if very difficult to take seriously. The movie was really good, it just would have been about twelve times better without Miley. Bah. Anyways, on that note I better go find the paper cutter and finish up these binders that I love so much...

Worky Work...Busy Bee?

**Alright I'm not entirely certain why the actual blog post won't show my separate paragraphs...so I apologize, but my attempts at editing the HTML are currently failing...** I nearly bit it on my casual bike ride to work this morning due to a little spider that decided to hitch a ride on my arm. How did it get there? I haven't a clue, I started swiping to see what was causing the tickle, and lo and behold a spider had taken up residence on the underside of my arm. Swatting ensued, as well as swerving, but I made it out alive. I'm currently doing what this University job has taught me to do so well. Procrastinating, being unproductive, lazing around on the job, etc. They tend to complain when I complete tasks in what I consider to be the amount of time necessary, but considering nothing ever gets done at the U, I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised that there are complaints about "over" productivity. Today I successfully wasted three hours doing absolutely nothing except for farting around on the internet while listening to music. Oh, and reading up on sea otters for one of my other pointless tasks that I am attempting to draw out for as long as is humanly possible. This pointless task includes "learning" a program that I am already familiar with thanks to United Way. I get the royal task of replacing all of the text in the newsletter and adding links just to show her that I am capable. Now, this is a Conferences Services Newsletter, but I get to fill it with whatever text I want. Hence, sea animals. Yeah I'm not sure why I chose sea animals. It tends to be one of my go-to subject areas. I guess I just never knew what level was possible when it came to lacking productivity. I do now. What a learning experience! I accompanied the Virginian to his humble abode for Memorial Day Weekend and although I arrived as a giant nervous (and nauseous) wreck, by the end of the weekend I was not ready to go home! It's possible they didn't feel the same way, but I'm hoping I passed the test! The weekend was filled with plenty of food, a lot of entertaining brotherly interactions, countless introductions (although a certain someone tends to slightly suck at introducing people), an adventure down the Shenandoah, and plenty of pretty Virginia sights. The eight hour drive home wasn't ideal, but it definitely did not feel like it was anywhere near eight hours...thank goodness for Aretha Franklin, 98 Degrees, and a wondrous smattering of other such musical wonders. Booked a couple of camping trips for the summer! Just had to make sure that nearly every single weekend has something scheduled...yikes. About that breather from the crazy activity-filled school year? Yeah it's not actually really happening. But I'm okay with that...I much prefer to be busy over bored! The Three Musketeer group is headed up to Fisherman's Island State Park for a lakeside camping adventure in the beginning of July, followed up by a trip to Leelanau State Park for yet another lakeside camping adventure to acquaint the Virginian with the Michigan wilderness at the end of July. Gotta love the mitten!

Spread Sheet Nightmares

Warning: If an awkward blonde wearing a name tag that says Laura turns out to be your server at Palio, run.

It was Mother-Daughter Date Night with the Muskrat ladies last night, and although it ended up being something to laugh about, it was a seriously poor display of waitressing. I'm pretty sure I could have done better without even being trained, or at least I hope I could have because this girl was scatter brained on top of awkward on top of unconfident on top of slow on top of nervous. Not what one would normally consider to be a winning combination in the service of serving.

I do believe one of the top moments of the dinner was when it came time to top our entrees with parmesan cheese. Rachel got it first with a minor sprinkling on the lap, and although Laura noticed and apologized, she continued to quite literally douse me with the parm. Nothing a good stand up and shake can't fix, but I mean part of the reason you're holding the block of cheese with a napkin is to shield the customer from the 30% chance of cheese showers. And I will give her some credit because about 1/6 of the cheese shreds landed on my hand and arm that was laying in my lap so I had the chance to shake that part off into my dinner.

Ooh! My Casperlike skin tone has taken a turn towards a color other than white! Despite the fact that I applied sunscreen, the sun assaulted my skin and turned it an angry, yet rosy shade of red but only in specific places. Considering this was two days ago, I feel as if the burn shouldn't still hurt at this point...but who am I to determine these things?

In other news, office work has entered into my dreams. I had an extremely stressful dream last night about a SPREAD SHEET. I kid you not. I'm 99.9% certain that there was a lot more to it than that, but the main issue was the darn Excel document. Feel free to call me crazy.

Plagued By a Severe Case of the Dropsies

Yesterday was a DAY. Holy moly. Yes, one of those days. I was all over the place and thankfully not all of it was witnessed by actual humans, but since I'm posting it on here now all the world can hear the trials and tribulations experienced by the one and only me on the lovely day of May 4th.

Anyways...I headed to work at 9:00 (brutal, the 9-5 schedule legitimately sucks the life out of me) and nearly hit a few people on my maiden voyage of the newly tuned up bicycle (thanks Brain). Arrived at work, panting and sweating profusely due to my extreme state of being out of shape, trucked up three flights of stairs and plopped for a millisecond. Then I continued the lovely process of continuing to file a bajillion samples into two very large and hefty binders. This darn project should be re-titled Paper Cut-a-palooza as opposed to File Away Your Life because I procured far too many paper cuts for any normal person to endure in one eight-hour time period. Gah, the horror!

Now...I ran out of those lovely plastic cover sheets at one point and so I headed down to the supply shelves on a hunt for more. Now, mind you, those darn things are so flippin' slippery! Naturally I grabbed a stack of them and all but the top and the bottom one went flying all over the place. As the official Newb of the office, I just muttered "typical" under my breath as I bent over to pick them all up...only knocking over a few metal cylinders and causing a slight ruckus. Thank heavens no one was down there with me...unless of course they were secretly lurking behind the shelves. Yikes.

Then I headed back up to my little office with a huge window and proceeded to spill them all over. Again. I kid you not, I am an idiot.

Anyways, I managed to keep my composure for the rest of the day and ended the day with a lovely (but also time lengthening) textual conversation with the Brain...counting down the minutes until we were freed of our respective work areas. His being "The Cave" (a closet) and mine being...well "The Little Office with a Huge Window."

Made it home without taking anyone out...although it was far busier on my ride home than the 9 a.m. ride there. Obviously. Should have been expecting that.

Twas waffle night at the Gregorka Household since the Faj took a hiatus in Seattle for the gigantic conference that has made up the logo decorating his e-mail signature for months. I headed home on the two-wheeled wonder, which was exciting to be able to whiz home so quickly on a bike! All the while saving the atmosphere and gasoline! Win win situation. The trouble began when the Maj sent me to Arbor Farms to pick up some strawbs and a cantaloup...oh and some spinach-y egg salad thing. No problem right? Wrong. Incorrect. False. I made it to the check out just fine, and then the checkout lady asked if I wanted a bag, but I figured since I made it there without a bag, I could definitely get to the car. Wrong. Incorrect. False. Yet again. As I swept the strawberries off the counter, they went flying into the air, and landed with the crunch of plastic as they all leapt to their death on the grocery store floor. Cue Andrea leaning over red-faced picking up the strawberries one-by-one as customers flowed by and the cashiers stared at me. Oy way to go me!

Naturally when I arrived home it turned out we didn't even need them, because the older pack sufficed. Garsh.

Then came the lovely ride home. Shoved my keys, phone, and iPod into my short pockets and headed east down Liberty back to the Chateau. Riding along without a clue...rockin' out to my lovely tunes...upon my return home I realized that I was missing a key piece of equipment in the form of a silver cell phone. Ruh roh. Must've just taken a leap to its death as I was riding home, and naturally I didn't hear it clang on the asphalt because I was jammin' to the music that was somewhat blasting out of my earbuds. Therefore, I hopped back on the bike and started retracing my Chateau-Bound Route of travel. Along the way I ran into the Maj who was out on a walk and alerted her of the situation slash set her on the lookout for the M.I.A. LG Slide telephone.

I then continued my horrible uphill (slow) trek to Ridgemor Drive and found the Brain speeding down the driveway on his two-wheeled cycle. He instructed me to follow him because he was going to pick up my phone. Pick up my phone?! Holy muffins! Hallelujah there IS a god! We headed to the old neighborhood across the woods and picked up my wonderful phone from a fantastical good samaritan. Goodness I love Ann Arbor.

The best part is, the only reason she found my phone is because she thought she did the same thing, so she was riding back looking for her phone when she came across mine! Don't worry folks, hers ended up being on the counter at home. Hahaha oy.

Anyways, that was the end of that adventure and extremely difficult day due to my lack of coordination and brain activity. Womp City.

ESL Mania en la AADL

Took a trip to the grand ol' Ann Arbor District Library on Tuesday for the first time to actually study (as opposed to hang out Matilda Style and read like old times or just pop in and grab whatever I might have on hold) and it was fairly successful. At least for a little bit. Just so you're aware, since I definitely wasn't, Tuesdays at 6:00 in the AADL equals the ESL Brigade Takeover of the Third Floor. This was quite the spectacle to see, and don't get me wrong, it was very cool to see so many younger people helping out with the multitude of Spanish speakers that need assistance in the english department, but doesn't exactly make for a quiet study area.

I was doing pretty darn well if I do say so myself until one distinct little sentence floated into my ear hole. Now, had the Virginian not looked up at me on the verge of bursting out in laughter, I probably would have been able to hold it together somewhat...but I feel a little better about myself because as the days have passed, I'm pretty much 110% convinced that anyone with even a minimal sense of humor would laugh at the following in the same or a similar situation:

"Take off your clothes, but leave your shorts on."

Mmmm okay, looking at it now I'm not nearly as convinced that the majority of humans would find that hilarious...but considering it just arose out of practically nothing made it that much better. There were a few other additional winning statements including, but not limited to:

• "I only crossed my legs for like a second, but then it fell asleep!"
• "Yeah, at this concert in Detroit they even felt under your bra."
• "Pregnant."
• "Salazar?! That's my name!!"

Hopefully there is a soul out there that is moderately entertained by such bilingual nonsense. I never quite understood why we learned some of the things we did in Spanish...such as 'pilotar una avioneta' (yes, to fly a single engine plane)...but apparently Spanish isn't the only language that teaches things someone will never use in real life...English does it too!

In other news...

• I have reinstated my presence on the world of Twitter. Attending all of these communications speaking events has convinced me it's a bit of a necessity. Besides, finals are creeping up at a rapid speed and it'll give me one more internet outlet to procrastinate. Necessary? Not at all, but it's going to be fine.
• Allergies are a bit crazy today...probably shouldn't be sitting outside on the porch, but I can't help but take advantage of the weather while it's possible...ya never do know with this crazy state surrounded by lakes. Haven't yet broken my record of...I think seventeen sneezes in a row from years past...I only let about nine fly this morning. One of which was a hicc-eeze. Sneeze and hiccup at the same time (don't try this at home, it's not the most comfortable way to start off the day).
• Street cleaners are practically taking over the downtown area lately. I acknowledge that I used to be mildly obsessed with street cleaners when I was younger and got some weird thrill from driving behind them at a snail pace watching those giant bristly spinners do their job...but I've come to wonder...why in the world do they exist?! Why must we "clean the street?" Its not like it sparkles after they blow by at 5 m.p.h., nor do we (or I suppose, I) plan on eating off of the asphalt any time soon, it's definitely not thorough...it leaves about four measly lines of wetness, they're really quite noisy, they hold up traffic, and the street doesn't even look different post-cleansing. I'm legitimately curious about this, so perhaps I shall Google it!
• Waking up at the butt crack of dawn to deliver the parentals to the airport definitely wasn't at the top of my voluntary to-do list, but the task was completed with success.
• Big Brother Skeletor is competing in the triathlon nationals with his gaggle of U of Illinois comrades this weekend in the great state of Texas...so good luck to all of them! Hopefully they pull out a great success, because as we all full well know, everything's bigger in Texas! That was dumb. I apologize. I seriously couldn't come up with anything better.
• Finally, I smell either Blimpy Burger in all its glory or someone is grilling hamburgers right now and I can't even pretend like I'm not jealous of some stranger's impending red meat consumption...

That is all! Enjoy this glorious Spring day to all my fellow Ann Arborites and T.G.I.F. to the rest of the blog reading community!

Slate Hands

My hands have smelled like those stupid "slates" (otherwise known as mini chalkboards) that we used to have to use in elementary school and then erase with an old sock that you had brought from home all day today. I'm not sure what the issue is...perhaps it's my nose, although the fact that I'm sneezing every three minutes makes that kind of hard to believe. I feel as if that would allow different smells to be filtered through, but anyvays. Yes, I have washed them multiple times, I've used Purell, hand creme, you name it, I've tried it. So odd how that happens. Hopefully it's just a 24 hour stage. I also suppose I shouldn't be obsessively smelling my hands all day...that's a little odd now that I've written an entire paragraph on the matter.

Headed back to Slauson earlier today after a lovely week off due to the AAPS Spring Break. I have to say, the week break was kind of cruel because it made the return visit that much worse. I had tasted life without crazy middle schoolers and I sure liked it. Oh well, a week and a half more and we shall be home free from Golden Bear Land. The usual characters appeared for a lovely hour of swimming up and down that pool that has really deteriorated since my day. It's also possible that I just didn't care to notice the quality of the facilities when I was 11 years old, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it has fallen apart. Although I was pleasantly surprised to see that the giant millipede was no longer dead on the bottom of the pool (and that there wouldn't be any crying sixth graders feeling ill because it was in their lane...I kid you not, this really happened. Actual tears). There also weren't any dumb comments about me not being in a cast anymore...it only took four weeks for those to cease! Bahaha unreal. They're entertaining, and also a new level of irritating. The good news is that most of the time they're swimming, and can't hear the slew of comments I pass off to my fellow coaches...

I am free from the Paratransit Van!! Rejoice! I can now pretty much successfully make it to all of my classes. A couple of em' I really have to slow down for after about twelve minutes, but for the most part I'm darn satisfied. Physical therapy is going just swell! I was praised today for my crossfrictioning of the scar site...Star Patient right here. Hahaha so sad. One would think that after nine years of PT, I would have the drill down. Well folks, looks like I finally do!

But alas it has reached the midnight hour, and this little piggy must hit the hay. Onward to the second to last Tuesday of class! Holy woah!

Hyperactivity. My Apologies.

Developmental psych. Psych 250. We're nearing the end of the semester, so obviously we're nearing the end of the lifespan which means the elderly are taking over the Powerpoints! Oooh and boy is it grand. But also sad. Especially since apparently you start losing memory capacity when you turn TWENTY. That's just not even fair. Slash makes me feel actually old for being twenty instead of fake old simply for no longer being a teenager.

Anyways, we had to watch a bunch of little video clips where it showed these old people attempting memory tasks and it was just so painful to watch. Lists of words they had to repeat back and just couldn't. Oooh golly I don't want to get old. How frustrating is that going to be?! Ay yi yi and this one man was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Sad stuff I tell ya, sad stuff indeed.

In other news!! I received fantastical news today and I am going to see Owl City in concert with Magman and friends on the 29th! So exciting! The perfect end of finals treat if I do say so myself. :) Oh my oh my oh my. I am just so freaking hyper and excited for some slightly unknown reason!

OH and did ya'll hear the thunder this morning?! Talk about a great way to start the day! And it was super warm...albeit rainy, but I mean. Can't have everything! AND I walked to my second class, and all the way home today! Holy Moses there ARE a lot of reasons to be happy. AND THE TREES. Are finally sprouting leaves. And flowers. And it smells glorious. And I DON'T EVEN KNOW. This isn't even an entertaining post I'm just overly excitedddd currentlyyy!

Happy Hump Day Everyoneeee

Bulldozing

As I made my way on foot from Angell Hall over to the lovely Dennison Fortress this morning I encountered a very distracted walker ahead of me. Equipped with giant headphones and a blue backpack this boy first literally stopped traffic in order to poke at a frozen puddle with his toe (not gonna lie, it looked really tempting...so it was kind of understandable), and second just stopped out of the blue to bend over and pick up a penny (I would have done the same had I seen it...and considered giving him a slight nudge so as to start some sort of penny war...just for kicks). Now, given that I understand both of these actions, I also nearly plowed the dude over. I'm on a slight mission in between classes (especially on Friday mornings because my first discussion always gets out late and my second one always starts early) and so I tend to hustle through the Diag on occasion. This makes for bad things to happen when people enter my pathway. Also, considering winter came back for a little visit on this fine morning, I wasn't exactly dressed correctly for the slightly Arctic temperature and so I was really looking forward to entering the Dennison Fortress upon my arrival. Hence, hustle.

Australian Rules Football = Suh-weet.

Definitely not on top of my game this morning. A toss and turn filled night of slumber (thank you once again construction...slash body's inability to rest peacefully) led to extreme tiredness which in turn skewed my normal on-top-of-things state into a scrambling mess. Stats was A-okay...got there on time (early even!) thanks to Paratransit, but then it was off to Psych to take an exam. As I rode there the feeling of doom entered my stomach as I realized that the two pencils I always use for exam taking were perched atop my desk at home (and I didn't have any others in my backpack writing utensil pouch) and that my Student I.D. was sitting in my wallet in my rain coat since it was rainy yesterday as opposed to my fleece for the slight chill that was today.

Anyways, plopped in the nearest open seat (since I was late. Thank you, Paratransit), asked to borrow a pencil from a friendly neighbor, and continued to pound out the wonderful 62-question multiple choice test all the while scheming up a way to get out of needing my I.D. to turn in my exam. Now, on a normal exam day (for instance, the first two), the I.D. wouldn't be a problem because my GSI was always present and could confirm my identity...but naturally, the one time I forget it, good ol' Jessica is playing hooky in Psych 250. Womp. It turned out not to be such a big deal...and definitely wasn't worth the amount of sweat that apparently had poured out in all my worrying. I do believe the GSI who took my exam may have been aware that I was slightly distraught due to the red color of my face and sweat happening all over the place so he just made me swear I was who I claimed I was...which I did...and then I also blurted out an explanation that I'm the freak with the crutches who has sat in the first row that last two weeks with my giant leg up on the railing. I don't think he cared. Since he just kind of blankly stared. So I walked away mentally hitting myself for allowing that wonderful story to slip from my lips.

Sociology was great! My GSI lectured (the Australian with the great accent, huge and long super curly hair, and tiny little frame) about Rugby League, Rugby Union, and Australian Rules Football. If I ever get the chance to attain my dream of traveling to Australia, I must see both an Australian Rules Professional Football game as well as a Pro Rugby League game. So entertaining. Just check out this video:

2009 AFL Mark of the Year

The real question is...how do more people not acquire serious injuries? Or perhaps he failed to mention that stat during lecture...probably the more likely option!

The Sun Decides to Show Its Face...for more than one day!

Most of those who actually read this are probably very well aware of the unusually warm and sunny week we just experienced down here in the Southeastern Mitten Region, but boy was it glorious! Well...at least it was quite grand yesterday because I was actually able to enjoy it. The rest of the week was filled with the ever-exciting class and Slauson swim practice, both of which are unfortunately held indoors. Womp.

Anyways. Yesterday, the Mother of all Loser Cruisers dropped me back at the ranch at approximately 11:12 a.m. and I proceeded to take full advantage of the giant ball of incandescent gas that was showing its face in the sky. After feeding myself, I set up camp on the front porch (fully open to the possibility of a sunburn). Now...keep in mind that construction continues full speed ahead especially when it's super nice out, so I had to don my gimongous head phones, crank up the volume, and allow the productivity to ooze. I have to say, I was rather pleased with myself. Heck, most Fridays I just plop myself down and fart around on the computer instead of actually getting work done. I suppose that's what Saturday is turning into as I speak...but seeing as I have two exams and a paper this week, I should probably crack the whip and get back to it. Blargh. Not ideal.

Well, if you were wondering, since I forgot to comment on the outcome of the sun sitting up there...I did indeed obtain an ever so slight pinkish hue upon my cheeks and beak. Great success!

Alright. Back to work for this girl! Errr...starting work. Hahaha whoops! Pizza House dinner tonight...I literally woke up this morning wondering what I was going to order. Sometimes I really question my own sanity...

A One-Legged Potato

So they surger-itized the ankle...round two and I am now an even more uncoordinated mess. I have more mysterious bruises than ever and they keep fading to that gross yellow color that just looks dirty more than anything. I'm not sure...it's not pleasant. My knees are all bruised from the increased amount of crawling around various surfaces, my shins and such (perhaps from getting in and out of the tub...or crutching into things? I don't know...), even my arms have mysterious contusions. Baffled over here. Then my knuckles are really suffering too! I need to find me some of those hand guards that the Olympic skiers use...because I manage to scrape the back of my hands on the bathroom counter about once every three times I'm in there...among other various doorways and such. Hopefully I'll get myself under control and decrease the number of bruises and scrapes I am covered with. Hopefully.

Monday was my first day back on campus and let's just say the morning didn't exactly run smoothly. After struggling out the front door to hop into the Paratransit van (The King of all Loser Cruisers), I secured myself into a seat and held on tight (learned that from last year's adventures...). Although, when it was time to get up I forgot that my backpack might cause a rather serious weight shift and throw me off slightly...needless to say I almost bit it on the floor of the P.T.V. but somehow saved myself from humiliation in front of my fellow rider. Yikes. Onward up the stairs of the School of Education Building. Now this building is one of those buildings where the door is also on a stair, so it's kind of a dangerous area to deal with (especially on crutches), but luckily I spotted a girl right ahead of me who could hold the door! Lo and behold, she was 'one of those people.' She opened the door with just enough space to squeeze through and then continued on without even the slightest of glances back. DARN. Struggle #2, door into the building. Alright, so we've entered the inferno of a building and crutch crutch crutch back to the back auditorium, make it through that door with the help of some fine gentleman nice enough to hold the door for me and then begin the navigation of the land of computer cords. Apparently all the outlets in this particular auditorium are along the back wall and I was doing great until the final cord. This sucker was raised off the floor because it wasn't very long...so I hopped over it with what I would like to call grace and then attempted to lift my crutches over it but...this didn't work. I ended up tipping over and falling into the heater, my crutches came clattering down with me, and Nat came to my rescue and lifted me back to my foot. Holy muffs.

Tuesday...not terrible. No collisions, didn't fall...hit a few doors, but hey, what did I expect? A day to go off without a hitch? Please.

Wednesday...successfully navigated that darn cursed School of Ed auditorium with ease and then made it to stats lab on time. Not too shabby. Just a solid twenty minute wait for the P.T.V. after lab. Although I suppose I shouldn't complain because I got to have a wonderful conversation with a very nice old man who had apparently had ankle surgery in a previous year. Told me to hang in there and such. So great. Everyone else who walked by kept staring because I was kind of standing in a position where it appeared that I had no lower segment of my leg...it was rather entertaining to watch their faces change when they realized that my leg was just bent and cocked up backwards in an attempt to elevate it...and cut down on the dark purple hue that my toes had assumed. Yikes.

Thursday. Talk about a long day. WOAH. So Thursdays always suck because no one likes to have class straight from 10-4. That is just insanity. I'm not sure why I did that to myself. But anyways, woke up and checked my beloved Weather.com and discovered that it would be extremely warm all the livelong day, so I donned my shorts and t-shirt and prepared for battle. Posted up on the porch so as to be ready for my ride to the MLB...only to receive a phone call that they would be fifteen minutes late. OH. COOL. I don't have class or anything...that's fantastic. So I just plopped and waited for quite some time, then hopped on and as we neared Hill Auditorium, I knew something was afoot. Approximately 67 yellow school buses from various school districts across the Southeastern Michigan area were swarming...and even more children were running wild everywhere. At any rate, traffic jam CITY...so I asked to be let out in the middle of an intersection and crutched the rest of the way. Ay yi yi. On the way to my seat, I tripped on some Asian's backpack, was laughed at, and managed to make a scene before landing in my lovely reserved chair. So awesome. After Stats I headed back out to be picked up only to realize that the field trip lasted the exact amount of time that I was in class...so it was Fiasco City with the reloading of all 67 school buses and millions of children. Schmee. So I was late to Psych...good thing my Soc class is in the exact same room right after Psych cuz I didn't have to move. Then it was time to crutch from East Hall to the USB. Hello lengthy journey and not being in shape. Talk about sweaty. Woah. Gross. AND my final destination was towards the World of P. O'Mahen...not the most appealing of endings to a difficult journey. Bahaha whew. After Comm Lab, I headed to the SLC to print off my homework only to nearly get stuck in some tiny room with a printer. Yikes. Then finally it was time to go home. HALLELUJAH. I headed to the elevators...and ended up in the basement of a parking garage...so I went back and went up a level...only to crutch out and not see a clear exit...so I went down the ramp and followed a bunch of signs to a DIFFERENT elevator...and went up a level...and BEHOLD! An exit to Palmer Drive!!! Rejoiceeee! Okay sorry this is huge, I'm almost done I promise. So I plunked down on the ground outside of this wonderful parking garage where it smelled of China (a lovely mix of roadkill and rotten eggs), waited for some twenty minutes or so...then decided to give Paratransit a call and see what was up. Well, apparently, the cab company is allowed to take up to twenty minutes to arrive at a destination, so they technically weren't late, but fortunately one of the Loser Cruisers was nearby so my main man Sean in the Paratransit Office re-routed it to me...and I got home 45 minutes after class ended. COOL BEANS.

Anyways. Today is Friday...things went well. I'm pretty pleased. I have also accomplished a grand total of ZERO things today. Cool cool cool. Oh well! Bath time?! Okay!

Return to the Roost

Hello blog fail on my part! Woah. I figured I best be gettin' a second entry in for the month of February...or else, well. There really isn't a consequence, just a matter of personal failure. Needless to say February has been a busy month. Yesterday was the official end to the worst week of my college career yet...three exams, two papers, and a presentation made for a lot of productivity, and very little sleep. Along with very little blog activity (I didn't even use it as a procrastination tool!).

Anyways, I have returned to the Mother Land...and Father Land for that matter. Just me and the rents for the week since Sir Brainiac decided to jet off to the Dominican Republic instead of hang out with his soon-to-be crippled twin sister...it's clear where his priorities stand. Bahaha I would have done the exact same thing. Let's be real.

Let's see here...in my slew of productivity yesterday I returned the most hideous wallet I've ever seen to some girl named Allie from Illinois (I found it on the ground outside the Chem Building and decided to go ahead and be a good samaritan...this thing was blue, with a picture of a cat on it...which was wearing a bow...and a rhinestone...), picked up my handicap parking tag from Secretary of State (in record time I might add...a solid three minute trip. That NEVER happens - OH and it's valid until August so I can continue the lazefest for six whole months!), scheduled all of my Paratransit Van rides for the five weeks following Spring Break, and delivered the Virginian to the airport. I'd call that one successful day!

I'm currently having an inner battle of whether to go clean the Chateau or not. I suppose I should do it today or tomorrow. But my cleaning bone isn't exactly aching to do it just yet...so we shall see. I'm also kind of scared to see what the place looks like. The whole cleaning thing has kind of fallen behind since...I don't even know when that happened. But it is NARSTY up in there. And by narsty I mean by Chateau standards...any boy wouldn't have a problem with it.

Okay. Onward to the post office, perhaps Target for a good ol' fashioned perusing, and then I suppose to clean that darn house. Especially since I'm being abandoned by the rents tonight. Surprise, surprise.

The Humpback Herd Fails the Surgical Strike

This just in: The cool way to use the iPod Touch is with your nose.

I'm not your everyday trendsetter, so how do I know this? Well folks, I hopped on the Commuter South bus just the other day at Markley...it was beyond packed, China Style...and continued to ride and observe the other passengers. I finally acquired a real seat after we hit a very popular stop on the route, and when I looked to my left, I spotted it. The trend of all trends.

There was a sir with his face in his iPod Touch. I did a double take at first, because really, who does that? He was first attempting to unlock the screen...by sliding his nose across it, and then continued onward with a pecking motion to select the song of his liking. Needless to say, I burst into laughter (yes, out loud and in public on a crowded bus), looked around to see if anyone else had just witnessed the amazing event with me (which, naturally, not a soul did), and then shut my mouth so I would stop laughing like an idiot and instead switched over to grinning like an idiot. Out of hand.

What's worse is that that might be the funniest thing that has happened in awhile (hence, the severe lack of blog posts...well...more like exams and schoolwork. Shmeh!).

In another realm of life that I was almost certain was removed after high school came back for a little visit! The swimming world. The Intramural Swim and Dive Meet took place last Thursday at Canham and boy was it ugly. We did have a decent sized fan base which was much appreciated with a side of embarrassing. It mainly consisted of our parents...

Anyways...I thought our team name was The Humpback Herd, but it was altered without my knowledge to The Purple Wolverines. Harumph. Oh well. Humpback Herd was what I refer to us still....and I'm stickin' to it! Anways, I "swam" breast in the medley relay, 100 I.M., the free relay, and of course the t-shirt relay. Swam is in quotes because let's be real. I flailed. An extensive number of seconds were added to everything on this day...and I don't think I've ever felt THAT out of shape. It was bad. Beyond painful and just straight up bad. Whew. Poor life choices. I don't think we're going back next year. Too many legit fast people there. Kill me.

O'Mahen Fail.

Patrick O'Mahen ruins lives. Plain and simple.

PO'M happens to be my COMM211 Lab GSI (Graduate Student Instructor...what some might call a TA) and boy oh boy did I get the worst luck of THAT draw.

First off, he is the most fidgety human being I have had the pleasure to observe in a very long time. So many awkward weird movements, he can't stand or sit still, and he just seems to have skin that is crawling with energy at every second of every day.

Second, the number of times he brings up his "girlfriend" in the two hours that we are forced to sit and listen slash watch this man is too many to count. It's slightly ridiculous and leads me to hypothesize that in fact, no girlfriend actually exists, but rather it's his attempt to feign normalcy in front of a group of college undergrads.

Third, he has been known to frolic. I kid you not. Frolicking has occurred across the length of the classroom. On more than one occasion.

Fourth, he is the most off-task GSI in the history of Off-Task GSIs. The productivity levels up in that classroom are dangerously close to zero and it drives me crazy to no end. The things we end up accomplishing could easily be completed within an hour or less, yet we often have to stay over the TWO HOUR block of time that the class is scheduled for. Un-freaking-believable.

Fifth, he murmurs to himself up near the dry-erase board and often trails off sentences so one can no longer decipher the string of words coming out of his mouth.

Sixth, even I don't laugh at his jokes. And I laugh at everyone's jokes. Including my own!

Perhaps my irritation levels skyrocket at this time of the day because I have six straight hours of class on Thursdays...and my name is Andrea Gregorka. Or perhaps it's because I have been hit by the curse of PO'M.

High Rollin' in the Camry

Just jetted home on foot due to my denial of the fact that the poor Loser Cruiser that is near and dear to my heart is currently a patient at Dusty's Automotive getting his dent fixed from the bullying incident. The poor dear. Either way, I'm an idiot. But I did get some a nice mile and a half walk in...as well as some quality time with my iPod! Twas a win-win situation. Thank goodness it wasn't a lazy day...otherwise I might have been in a bit of a pickle...

I'm currently wasting time before I have to get all the flipping way over to Domino's Farms for a stupid appointment. I'm wondering if this one will solve my blindness problem! Perhaps. I have high hopes.

Today marks the official one year anniversary of Stalk Fest '09. Get excited.

MLK Day saved lives this week. A four day school week is just so much more bearable! It's almost amazing what a difference one day makes...now if only I could get my schedule to work out so I didn't have class on Fridays...I shall keep dreaming.

I suppose I should get going...in case I happen to get lost. Slash I have to park Faj's car out in the boonies of the parking lot so it doesn't get nicked. Or dented. Or harmed in any way, shape, or form. He loves this car more than he loves me, folks. It's kind of a big deal.

Into the Arctic!

I attempted to begin reading the 1,070 page coursepack for my SOC212 class...since I'm supposed to be 70 pages in by Tuesday...yeah, it wasn't entirely successful. Considering it's by Weber...and is translated...and is titled "The Theory of Social and Economic Organization: The Types of Authority and Imperative Co-ordination" makes it difficult to get through. I don't know what it's saying...nor am I quite certain how it connects to Sports and Society (the title of the class). Probably about governing bodies in the sporting world or something...who knows. I suppose we'll find out eventually! Eeeek. All these classes I think will be so fun...first astro, now this. 1,070 page course pack and three 300 page books. So fantastic.

Upon exiting Noodles & Co. this evening with an enthusiastic "Into the Arctic!" we opened the door and lo and behold, walking along was a couple of Eskimos! In other words, two people wearing those giant puffy coats with the fur around the hood happened to be walking by the Noods Establishment while we were leaving...bahaha. Comical. Slightly inappropriate. I suppose the correct term would be Inuit, would it not?

Ended the night with a healthy dose of The World's Strongest Man Competition on ESPN. I personally was rooting for the man from Poland, Sir Mariusz Pudzianowski. Sans the 'Sir' of course, it just sounds a bit more professional in my expert opinion. He completed the Giant Farmer Carry (or something) like a CHAMP. Blew the competition out of the water. Whew. Pulled that plane like it was nobody's business...and even yanked a rather heavy boat out of the water onto a very steep ramp. So entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although I'm wondering where the rest of the world was...very few countries were represented, and I'm well aware that this was the finals, but about half of the dudes were from the US, then there was a Pole, a Lithuanian, annnd a few others maybe...I don't know. Oh someone from England...annnd...eh, not important. Oh well.

Some Lists

Some Punny Statements from Winter Break 09-10

1. Alison referring to Match Day for residency programs in March: "March Matchness!" Bahaha unreal.
2. Me (sorry, I was proud of this one) referring to the 300+ Canadian geese chillin' in the cornfield on the side of the highway: "That's FOWL!" Ahhh I kill me.
3. Mmmmk sorry. That's all I've got right now...failure to document...

New Years Resolutions

1. Drink more water (and thanks to my handy dandy Bite and Suck Water Bottle [otherwise known as the Camelback Better Bottle] that Santa so graciously delivered on XMas I'm thinking that this one is easily attainable)
2. Be nicer (it's the same every single year...I suppose I could let up on the sarcastic asshole thing on occasion...)
3. Figure out some form of exercise that I am A) allowed to do, B) like to do, and C) that doesn't hurt my whacked out ankle...too much (at least until March 1st...)

Random

1. U of M will forever be better than "The" Ohio State University. That basketball game was chill-worthy on more than one occasion this afternoon...and I can't remember the last time my throat hurt afterward from cheering. Whew. GO BLUE!
2. A supremely awkward man wearing a Huron hat and I had a fantastically uncomfortable encounter in Dibellas today. And for the record, no, I am not participating in whatever tennis tournament he was inquiring about...just let me be nice and allow you to go in front of me to refill your flipping drink.
3. This cold is causing my face bones to ache after very brief encounters. Not cool. Can't wait to walk across campus....NOT.
4. I'm wondering if anyone else in this world sleeps on the floor when they just simply cannot fall asleep in their bed...I'm continually being told that it's weird. Which is fine, cuz it works for me!
5. http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ makes me wonder how many people fabricate funny and often highly disturbing textual conversation snippets...
6. Two more days of freedom until classes begin again. I'm slightly terrified I might lose my sanity this semester what with all it entails. Be prepared for some interesting blog posts...

And with that I shall leave you! Hello helter skelter posting as of late. I haven't had enough time away from school to fix my severe case of Skatter Brain. Perhaps this next day of babysitting followed up by a day of doctors appointments and errand running shall prove to be enough relaxation to postpone an outbreak of crazy...

Ya'll better hope so!

Home for the Holidays

Now keep in mind that everyone else in the family has a significant other. Maj obviously has the Faj, Brad has Brett, Alison has Erik, and Brain has Julia. Andrea is equipped with, oh I don't know, a messed up perception of a relationship and zero prospects on the horizon...along with the fact that she has been single for over a year. Totally fine. No big deal. No big deal until people have to vocalize these sad facts and I literally have zero ammo to return the favor.

Now, Maj and Faj...psh. Whatever, that has been there forever. They're married. It has been a lot of years, blah blah blah. Brad and Brett on the other hand make it very known to the general public that they are together. They are the most touchy-feely couple I have witnessed thus far in my time here on earth and paired with that, they seem to only be able to speak in baby talk to each other. It's not annoying at all. Nor does it make me slightly sick to my stomach. Bah. Alison and Erik, I appreciate. They're cool. They don't rub the whole being together thing in everyone's faces, they're appropriate around the family, they're hilarious, they speak in normal voices, all in all the one coupling I could deal with. Brain and Julia...well, Brain was off in her land most of the time, so whatever.

XMas 2009 was successful! I'm super excited about my new backpack from Santa cuz the one I was using was Brad's from 1990-something and tended to split open randomly while walking around campus making life slightly more annoying. I'm thinking this one won't have the tendency to resort to such shenanigans. I've already loaded it with all of my new school supplies (pens and highlighters!) and I'm pretty sure he can't wait to be loaded up with binders and notebooks. Oooh this is sad.

Also, pretty sure I've secretly won the Favorite Grandchild Award from Granny cuz I was donned with the Celtic Quilt that she has been slaving away at for hours and hours over a period of many many years. It's pretty darn sweet...slash an honor to get that quilt of all quilts. Holy moly! Gotta love the White Tornado. Hahaha

What else...classes start on Wednesday which is slightly sickening. I'm not entirely pleased...slash what happened to those two weeks!? They flew by. Heck, it's already 2010 for crying out loud.

Oh yeah!! I'm going blind! Hahahaha I forgot about that wonderful fact. Faj's horrid vision has finally struck my eyeballs...and Alison's too. I am headed to the eye doctor on Tuesday, hopefully to fix that wonderful issue. That would explain the daily headaches and issues reading the words on the screen on occasion in class all semester. Hmmm...perhaps I was just in denial for a bit? We'll go with that.

Alright, this is large and all over the place, so I shall wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR and we'll visit the topic of New Year's Resolutions in the next post. Happy Saturday. :)