A Scarring Study Experience

It has been an excessively long time since I've written anything pertaining to my life on here. But, something worth noting came up and I can't help but share it with the two people that still read this.

The Scene:

It's Sunday night, RKM and I head to the Union at the crack of 11:15 p.m. in hopes of accomplishing some sort of productivity instead of sitting around procrastinating like professionals. We set up camp at a table near the windows, but not too far from the food court. I head out to drop important documents at the APO office and then take a pit stop at Subway on the way back to purchase a sub in order to eat my feelings.

As we delve into the world of studiousness, the whole paying attention to what's going on around us falls to the wayside. But then, RKM looks up around 12:50 a.m. and notices that there is someone upchucking in the flower bushes outside the window. It takes me a second to adjust my vision from the reflection of Mrs. Fields in the window to see the master cookie tosser about three feet away. Naturally, laughter ensued.

It gets worse. Before we know it, Idiot #2 is unbuttoning his pants. Dear lord, what is about to happen. Well, what does happen is that he drops trow, SPREADS his cheeks, and smashes his rear end against the window...with a bit of smearing action. In the meantime, #1 is still barfing a bit and Idiot #3 is working on not drawing any further attention by banging on the window and creating a complete and total ruckus. Naturally, all of them are yelling as well because why not?

After that, we surrendered. There was not an ounce of studying that was going to happen after having that horrific image burned into our brains. Herman and Chomskey's propaganda model was going to have to wait until Monday...

A Series of Unfortunate Events

It has been an interesting 24 hours. I'm gonna go ahead and blame these events on my slight mixture of a cold and allergies and other such things that didn't exactly lead me to feel 110% yesterday...andddd this morning. It all started with the Saga of the Lost Cell Phone. I headed over to the Virginian's with the Maj's car, and while lazing about I realized that Sir Twinicus was supposed to be calling, texting, sending a smoke signal, really just communicating in any way, buuut it wasn't quite happening. So after a thorough search of my large purse that tends to cause things to disappear, I failed to locate the little silver device and hence decided to search the Maj's vehicle. The search returned absolutely nothing...naturally. So after the lovely mini search party, it was determined that it had to be back at the Chat.

Upon my return home we began searching...Round Two. The Virginian called over and over while I ran about the various parts of the house that I had been in earlier that day. While standing in the kitchen (all surface areas devoid of any items resembling a phone) I heard the familiar buzz. I shifted towards my lovely little cabinet only to realize that it was inside the cabinet. After removing several items, I noticed that one item was actually buzzing itself. Naturally, my little cell phone had taken up residence in the Wheat Thins box. Score one for the home team...

Waking up this morning I managed to put my underwear on inside out and put my tank top on backwards before making it into the office. Now, the undies situation was realized before exiting the house, and was remedied, but the tank top situation not so much. As I was sitting in my cubicle of glory (where the name tag is still incorrect) typing away and editing United Way stories, I looked down and noticed that the purple fabric was pulling funny. Huh, I thought to myself. I really didn't notice that when I bought this thing. Perhaps the lighting was off in Old Navy...or maybe I just failed to recognize the minute detail. Anyways, I flipped it over and lo and behold, the tagless tag was blaring in my face.

To top things off, I decided to broadcast my idiocy to the World of Facebook and five minutes later my boss walked in and laughed at my backwards tank top and asked how in the world my phone could have possibly ended up in a Wheat Thins box. Awesome. Let's also keep in mind that on Monday I was forced to wear white athletic socks with orange and yellow polka dots in my dress shoes because I couldn't find my black ones and was running late...annnd my boss and another woman in the office both flooded my cubicle and commented on that. Bahaha Joke Show USA.

I'll be here all week, folks.

Ann Arbor, so hot right now. Ann Arbor.

It is unbelievably hot in Ann Arbor. I can't handle this for much longer, especially sans air conditioning. The Chat reached the temperature of 91 degrees on the DOWNSTAIRS thermostat, which we all know hints at the upstairs unit being a whole new definition of indoor inferno and needless to say, as a resident I am melting. Not Wicked Witch of the West melt style, more of a slow deterioration of mental saneness, accompanied by exhaustion, a lot of sweat, and a lot of H20 intake in an attempt to maintain a level of togetherness. Togetherness...whatever that means!

In all the heat and official Weather.com Heat Advisories I might add, I have not attempted much for the sake of my health and probably the health of those around me that would potentially have to deal with my sweaty meltdown.

• Thank goodness it's Dead Week for Skyline Volleyball, because we aren't currently in the air conditioned gym, and although it is significantly cooler than Pioneer would be on ANY given day, I have become spoiled and accustomed to the high class facilities that Sky High has to offer and therefore would not have wanted to attend either open gyms or the Rec & Ed game...
• Considering I only have to work a grand total of two days this week, I suppose that's a pretty good thing as well. The only downside is that my workplaces are air conditioned, and so I wouldn't mind nearly as much going into work when it is imitating Death Valley outside (as well as inside the Chat).
• Tuesday was a day spent at the original Home Unit with the Maj...in the A/C. Crafting and reading all the livelong day. AKA attempting not to expel any unnecessary energy less it create an increase in body temperature. I wasn't allowed to go to work because it was finally Moving Day! Our office moved to the corner of Liberty and Fifth which is just really great news...minus the fact that I will be the one in charge of unpacking and organizing every thing that I have spent the last three weeks packing.
• Going backwards, Monday was an evening in which the fam attempted to golf. Poor life decision if I do say so myself. Considering I suck at this leisurely activity, I wasn't exactly pleased to be going out when it was still above ninety degrees at the crack of 6pm. Sucked even worse, and had a serious case of swamp ass. The upside to this situation was that the course was legitimately empty of another soul, so I was able to drop trow and air out for a minute at some hole number that I could pretend to know, but actually have no clue what it really is. Feel free to judge, I clearly don't have Golf Etiquette down to a tee quite yet.
• Today was spent trying not to move in the hot hot heat the Chateau had to offer. Spent a large portion of the day being artsy fartsy for the first time in a long time, watched quite a bit of television, and perfected fan angles so they provided the most effective (but really freaking hot) breeze!

Basically, I'm really excited to work from 9-5 tomorrow because I will be submersed in the A/C of a real office building. I wonder if I'll have to pack a couple of layers just in case I have become accustomed to this extreme warmth the lovely atmosphere has decided to provide to my beloved Mitten State.

Time Wasting Ace

I have really gone above and beyond when it comes to wasting time here at the University desk job. I'm pretty certain procrastination is hailed here, it's definitely suggested and encouraged! Anyways...I have a few things to do today, but I have just really learned to pace myself and therefore every time I take a trip from the supply closet down to the work room, I detour to my office and check my e-mail, Facebook, my phone, or any other technological thing that may have updated. At least time is flying by today! Heck, there's only an hour and twenty minutes until we all load into cars and head over to the new office space to check it out. I'm so pleased that we're moving to Liberty instead of up to Northwood. Holy muffins that would have been rough indeed. The fact that we have to move still blows, just a little less due to the close proximity to the Chateau. :) Well...the previous two paragraphs were created on Tuesday...and it is now Thursday and we are back in the exact same position. Although, I did get to make a trip to FedEx Office this morning (yeah, it's no longer Kinko's...weird) to get the Ciao Dining inserts trimmed. That's the most excitement I've experienced here in a very long time! The only downside (which was major) is that it took a solid fifteen minutes to find a new parking spot when I returned. Little Oswego Street was all full, sad day. Especially after my ace of a parallel park job this morning. I guess practice really does help the scales lean towards perfection! This evening I must shuttle the Virginian to the airport again. He's vacating the Deuce to celebrate the Bro's high school gradumatation slash visit the fam and the great state of Virginia. I really am quite a fan! Of it all! Last night was a girl's night...The Last Song is currently playing at the Dollar Theater, so naturally we had to attend. SWG and I could not stop crying. JChro and KNood held themselves together quite gracefully, I was impressed. But hello depression city! Holy wow. Also, it's really a shame that Miley Cyrus had to be the main character in it, because I personally think she ruined it. With the snaggletooth and the twelve-year-old face...plus the whacky faces she seems to not have control over...and the whole being Hannah Montana thing just made if very difficult to take seriously. The movie was really good, it just would have been about twelve times better without Miley. Bah. Anyways, on that note I better go find the paper cutter and finish up these binders that I love so much...

Worky Work...Busy Bee?

**Alright I'm not entirely certain why the actual blog post won't show my separate paragraphs...so I apologize, but my attempts at editing the HTML are currently failing...** I nearly bit it on my casual bike ride to work this morning due to a little spider that decided to hitch a ride on my arm. How did it get there? I haven't a clue, I started swiping to see what was causing the tickle, and lo and behold a spider had taken up residence on the underside of my arm. Swatting ensued, as well as swerving, but I made it out alive. I'm currently doing what this University job has taught me to do so well. Procrastinating, being unproductive, lazing around on the job, etc. They tend to complain when I complete tasks in what I consider to be the amount of time necessary, but considering nothing ever gets done at the U, I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised that there are complaints about "over" productivity. Today I successfully wasted three hours doing absolutely nothing except for farting around on the internet while listening to music. Oh, and reading up on sea otters for one of my other pointless tasks that I am attempting to draw out for as long as is humanly possible. This pointless task includes "learning" a program that I am already familiar with thanks to United Way. I get the royal task of replacing all of the text in the newsletter and adding links just to show her that I am capable. Now, this is a Conferences Services Newsletter, but I get to fill it with whatever text I want. Hence, sea animals. Yeah I'm not sure why I chose sea animals. It tends to be one of my go-to subject areas. I guess I just never knew what level was possible when it came to lacking productivity. I do now. What a learning experience! I accompanied the Virginian to his humble abode for Memorial Day Weekend and although I arrived as a giant nervous (and nauseous) wreck, by the end of the weekend I was not ready to go home! It's possible they didn't feel the same way, but I'm hoping I passed the test! The weekend was filled with plenty of food, a lot of entertaining brotherly interactions, countless introductions (although a certain someone tends to slightly suck at introducing people), an adventure down the Shenandoah, and plenty of pretty Virginia sights. The eight hour drive home wasn't ideal, but it definitely did not feel like it was anywhere near eight hours...thank goodness for Aretha Franklin, 98 Degrees, and a wondrous smattering of other such musical wonders. Booked a couple of camping trips for the summer! Just had to make sure that nearly every single weekend has something scheduled...yikes. About that breather from the crazy activity-filled school year? Yeah it's not actually really happening. But I'm okay with that...I much prefer to be busy over bored! The Three Musketeer group is headed up to Fisherman's Island State Park for a lakeside camping adventure in the beginning of July, followed up by a trip to Leelanau State Park for yet another lakeside camping adventure to acquaint the Virginian with the Michigan wilderness at the end of July. Gotta love the mitten!

Spread Sheet Nightmares

Warning: If an awkward blonde wearing a name tag that says Laura turns out to be your server at Palio, run.

It was Mother-Daughter Date Night with the Muskrat ladies last night, and although it ended up being something to laugh about, it was a seriously poor display of waitressing. I'm pretty sure I could have done better without even being trained, or at least I hope I could have because this girl was scatter brained on top of awkward on top of unconfident on top of slow on top of nervous. Not what one would normally consider to be a winning combination in the service of serving.

I do believe one of the top moments of the dinner was when it came time to top our entrees with parmesan cheese. Rachel got it first with a minor sprinkling on the lap, and although Laura noticed and apologized, she continued to quite literally douse me with the parm. Nothing a good stand up and shake can't fix, but I mean part of the reason you're holding the block of cheese with a napkin is to shield the customer from the 30% chance of cheese showers. And I will give her some credit because about 1/6 of the cheese shreds landed on my hand and arm that was laying in my lap so I had the chance to shake that part off into my dinner.

Ooh! My Casperlike skin tone has taken a turn towards a color other than white! Despite the fact that I applied sunscreen, the sun assaulted my skin and turned it an angry, yet rosy shade of red but only in specific places. Considering this was two days ago, I feel as if the burn shouldn't still hurt at this point...but who am I to determine these things?

In other news, office work has entered into my dreams. I had an extremely stressful dream last night about a SPREAD SHEET. I kid you not. I'm 99.9% certain that there was a lot more to it than that, but the main issue was the darn Excel document. Feel free to call me crazy.

Plagued By a Severe Case of the Dropsies

Yesterday was a DAY. Holy moly. Yes, one of those days. I was all over the place and thankfully not all of it was witnessed by actual humans, but since I'm posting it on here now all the world can hear the trials and tribulations experienced by the one and only me on the lovely day of May 4th.

Anyways...I headed to work at 9:00 (brutal, the 9-5 schedule legitimately sucks the life out of me) and nearly hit a few people on my maiden voyage of the newly tuned up bicycle (thanks Brain). Arrived at work, panting and sweating profusely due to my extreme state of being out of shape, trucked up three flights of stairs and plopped for a millisecond. Then I continued the lovely process of continuing to file a bajillion samples into two very large and hefty binders. This darn project should be re-titled Paper Cut-a-palooza as opposed to File Away Your Life because I procured far too many paper cuts for any normal person to endure in one eight-hour time period. Gah, the horror!

Now...I ran out of those lovely plastic cover sheets at one point and so I headed down to the supply shelves on a hunt for more. Now, mind you, those darn things are so flippin' slippery! Naturally I grabbed a stack of them and all but the top and the bottom one went flying all over the place. As the official Newb of the office, I just muttered "typical" under my breath as I bent over to pick them all up...only knocking over a few metal cylinders and causing a slight ruckus. Thank heavens no one was down there with me...unless of course they were secretly lurking behind the shelves. Yikes.

Then I headed back up to my little office with a huge window and proceeded to spill them all over. Again. I kid you not, I am an idiot.

Anyways, I managed to keep my composure for the rest of the day and ended the day with a lovely (but also time lengthening) textual conversation with the Brain...counting down the minutes until we were freed of our respective work areas. His being "The Cave" (a closet) and mine being...well "The Little Office with a Huge Window."

Made it home without taking anyone out...although it was far busier on my ride home than the 9 a.m. ride there. Obviously. Should have been expecting that.

Twas waffle night at the Gregorka Household since the Faj took a hiatus in Seattle for the gigantic conference that has made up the logo decorating his e-mail signature for months. I headed home on the two-wheeled wonder, which was exciting to be able to whiz home so quickly on a bike! All the while saving the atmosphere and gasoline! Win win situation. The trouble began when the Maj sent me to Arbor Farms to pick up some strawbs and a cantaloup...oh and some spinach-y egg salad thing. No problem right? Wrong. Incorrect. False. I made it to the check out just fine, and then the checkout lady asked if I wanted a bag, but I figured since I made it there without a bag, I could definitely get to the car. Wrong. Incorrect. False. Yet again. As I swept the strawberries off the counter, they went flying into the air, and landed with the crunch of plastic as they all leapt to their death on the grocery store floor. Cue Andrea leaning over red-faced picking up the strawberries one-by-one as customers flowed by and the cashiers stared at me. Oy way to go me!

Naturally when I arrived home it turned out we didn't even need them, because the older pack sufficed. Garsh.

Then came the lovely ride home. Shoved my keys, phone, and iPod into my short pockets and headed east down Liberty back to the Chateau. Riding along without a clue...rockin' out to my lovely tunes...upon my return home I realized that I was missing a key piece of equipment in the form of a silver cell phone. Ruh roh. Must've just taken a leap to its death as I was riding home, and naturally I didn't hear it clang on the asphalt because I was jammin' to the music that was somewhat blasting out of my earbuds. Therefore, I hopped back on the bike and started retracing my Chateau-Bound Route of travel. Along the way I ran into the Maj who was out on a walk and alerted her of the situation slash set her on the lookout for the M.I.A. LG Slide telephone.

I then continued my horrible uphill (slow) trek to Ridgemor Drive and found the Brain speeding down the driveway on his two-wheeled cycle. He instructed me to follow him because he was going to pick up my phone. Pick up my phone?! Holy muffins! Hallelujah there IS a god! We headed to the old neighborhood across the woods and picked up my wonderful phone from a fantastical good samaritan. Goodness I love Ann Arbor.

The best part is, the only reason she found my phone is because she thought she did the same thing, so she was riding back looking for her phone when she came across mine! Don't worry folks, hers ended up being on the counter at home. Hahaha oy.

Anyways, that was the end of that adventure and extremely difficult day due to my lack of coordination and brain activity. Womp City.