Anyways, I plopped down on the couch and took out my book ready to get some quality pages in from The Time Traveler's Wife (since the book had been missing for several days and I'd been anxious to read it again). JR came out en route to brush and floss (Orthodontist's orders) when all of a sudden this man on the other side of the room starts making whining noises. Obviously I looked up to see where this noise was coming from and WHY. Turns out, the grown father of a fifteen year old twin (yes, I was informed of this fact a bit later) was the one creating the whiny noise. Then, since he already had my attention and all he decided to start talking about how dentists are the ones who clean the teeth and that orthodontists will have nothing to do with that (thank you sir, I'm actually an idiot and I don't already know this. I was born with the genes to have perfect teeth and therefore did not have to go through an awkward braces-filled stage complete with countless orthodontist visits. I also don't still have to go in every six months...). It reminded him of when he used to work in the factory for some car company...I think it was GM, not sure, and how grown men would complain about being tired etc., etc., etc. The whining noises continued and it took every ounce of energy I had not to just crack up. Wow. After that I was asked if JR was my little sister, which I politely explained that she wasn't, and that she was my summer job (all the while trying to make it clear that I was attempting to read the book that was open in my lap).
Then he figured out that I was a student (NO WAY!) and asked if I went to Eastern...? Why? I'm not sure...perhaps it's his go-to institution of higher education? I don't know. I then explained that I was a Wolverine. No, I didn't really know what I was studying. No, I'm not interested in anything technological. Yes, I went to Pioneer. Yes we do have a larger student body than Saline does. No I didn't play an instrument in the band, but congratulations to your kids. Yes, I was interested in art. Interesting that his son worked at the art building down the street. Oh, thank you for the tips not to get into debt and to manage my money...it continued...
After an awkward pause, during which I got to read half of a page of text all the while feeling this dude's eyes boring a hole in my forehead, he stands up, hands me the binder he has been flipping through for the past twelve minutes, and comes and sits down right next to me. At this point I put away my book and gave up any lingering sense of hope that I might enjoy this trip to the orthodontist's office and started wholeheartedly wishing for JR to emerge. Soon.
I started looking through the binder, and here began the lesson on thermal cameras, infrared technology, fuse boxes, pulleys, gears, and the Redford Public School System. The whole infrared camera business was pretty interesting...I learned that you can calibrate one of these cameras to find temperature differences within 1/10 of a degree and that they can be used on humans to find where circulation problems are occurring and something that has to do with cancer. Cool, right?!
But his line of work had to do with electronic equipment and so I was lectured about how a fuse box works, what the problem was, how he created his own color scale for the thermal picture (complete with a very clear breakpoint! Pink to purple...), how the pulley worked, how much of a problem grease is, that grease creates a layer that electrons must travel through as opposed to direct contact which is much more efficient and won't lead to premature failure, oh and the list goes on. I could tell you all about the temperature differences and all the repairs this special man with the whitehead zit on his nose informed me of for probably the twenty minutes of it that I got to sit through.
Also, in case you were wondering, this particular school was right off of I-96 (I think...) and in the front was a service road that only went one way so that would explain why all of the parking lots are in the back and to the side because people probably enter from the side road...blah blah blee dee blah blah blah. Thank goodness for Google Earth because this man did not have to take a picture of the front of the building, because what a challenge that would be.
During this time, Mr. Tattoos and Piercings entered the room and was forced to eavesdrop on our tantalizing conversation. I attempted to make eye contact just in case we were maybe suffering together. I received no such thing, there had to be something extremely interesting on the floor. I tried to reach out to In and Out Mom as well, who entered and exited a ridiculous amount of times, but all I got was a smile of pity and then she got to return to her book. Oy. The receptionist even came in and shot my one of those half smiles that say something like "Wow, I'm really sorry you have to sit through this, but I don't want to deal with him so good luck." Yikes.
Thank goodness JR emerged shortly after the parking lot explanation, complete with a million rubber bands essentially clamping her mouth closed. Not great. But at least I was saved from Sir Thermal Camera and Father of Twins.
Now, to those who live with me, they claim me as utterly incapable of tolerance of other people. I do believe this story: a) disproves that statement, and b) explains why I can't always deal with the Gregorka Zoo since I encounter strange people like this on a daily basis. Besides, they're kind of stuck with me...sorry guys! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment