The Things One Can Learn At the Post Office

After a lovely trip to my favorite government building the other day, I realized what an enlightening trip it really was. Who knew that shipping a book that I sold on Amazon would provide me with such a grand learning experience? I sure wasn't expecting it!

First lesson learned: I am too nice when out in public.

• I landed in line behind this old woman, who struck up conversation about the renovations and how long they had been going on (since she had been out of town all summer), which was fine. Who doesn't love a little friendly stranger-to-stranger small talk while in the slowest moving line ever? Anyways, then she started grumbling about how she had this meeting to get to across town and how she didn't know if she was going to make it there on time...blah blah blah. After a few ahh's and mmm's from me, the crazy lady (who should not be paid) and who walks up and down the line telling people to go use the APC (Automated Postage Center) appeared to help this woman figure out what type of packaging should be used. It wouldn't fit in the smallest of the flat rate boxes, so they tried a flat rate envelope, but then this woman decided she wanted the padded version of the envelope and went and got that one. Now, this padded envelope was $1.59, the whole postage part is not included in the envelope fee...old lady McGeezer didn't understand this. She turned to me and asked if I wouldn't mind buying the envelope for her because she needed to get to her meeting. I said that wouldn't be a problem figuring she would just give me some money for both the envelope and the postage. No no, she just gave me two bucks and then turned to leave...without sealing the envelope, without putting an address on it, nothing. So I inquired as to whether or not she was going to put the address on the envelope and she exclaimed "Oh! You're going to mail it for me?!" Well DUH lady. Do you think I'm just going to purchase the envelope and then what? Leave it on the counter for you to find later? I'm not really sure...she clearly was not fully there. Anyways. She was sending it to Leland, so that was an up...and she was old...so I paid the three dollars to ship it. Ugh it kills me when I'm a decent human being. Hahahaha

Second lesson learned (err rather more like a realization of sorts): Pocket placement on very very large pants.

• So after this old woman peaced from the post office I ended up behind a very, very large dude. As in, if I were to hug him, my hands would be nowhere near touching around his back. ANYWAYS, considering I had plenty of time to observe all that was around me in such a thrilling atmosphere, I started studying the man's pants in front of me. I saw that the pockets were wayyyy off center, but still tiny. Not placed on the center of the butt cheek, but rather more on the hip/thigh region. I got to thinking and I finally figured it out. Of course, normal people use their back pockets, and therefore need access to them...so if they were smack in the middle of the butt cheek, the arm would not be able to reach the pocket! My lovely realization was confirmed about fifteen minutes later when he had to pull his wallet out of his back pocket for a form of picture i.d. Needless to say I was pretty pleased that I had that figured out before the action actually took place.

Those were really the only things of value that came out of that trip to the post office. At least I left with something though...fun facts and out of three dollars for being a nice human. Oof.